sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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