I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
