quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
