just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
