OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
