Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
