So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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