if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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