You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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