I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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