How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
