saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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