I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
