Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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