I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
