just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
