the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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