You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
