If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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