this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
