i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
