The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
