I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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