this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
