That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
