you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
