So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
