All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
