She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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