We won't sleep together?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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