so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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