Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
