I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
