and you said cock pushups were impossible
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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