i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
