We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
