It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
