i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
