Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
