Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
