Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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