And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
