he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
