call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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