Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
