Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
