So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize