you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
