If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
