Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
