You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
