Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
