Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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